Thursday, May 22, 2014

Spring Changes

One of the biggest reasons why I love spring so much is because of all of the flowers that are in season. Some of the most beautiful flowers (I think) are bulbs and only come out once a year. Of those favorites, peonies are among the best. I just had to photograph them. I added a couple of shots from around the house. I'm getting so excited to decorate my own apartment! I've obviously been away from home since high school and had college dorm rooms to decorate, but it isn't the same as getting your first place with your husband-to-be! We decided not to live together till we are married, so I'll be in our apartment a few months before he moves in after the wedding. I've lived with my mom all growing up and have gathered the best inspiration for home interiors, but I thought I'd take a few shots of around the house to remember it by. There are so many amazing memories in this house with my family, my sisters. My house was built in the 1880's and my two sisters and I shared a room all growing up. I'm sure everyone probably assumes I have a giant closet...but no haha. I had to share a closet my whole life, up until the time in college (which wasn't much added space, if you know what I mean!) But I wouldn't trade it for anything! It made my sisters and I have always gotten along, but also are the best of friends. The most exciting part about getting an apartment will be the fact that I will have my own closet...and a walk-in one, I might add! :) Getting married and leaving home to create your own is the most fun and special time in your life, but it is also a huge change! I'm super close with my family and love my home, and where I grew up, so it may be more challenging for me than others, but still I assure you, it is a change. Even though it will be a change, it will be a good one; different, but good different :).


Saturday, May 17, 2014

Let's Be Real

Hi readers…I know I haven’t been posting a lot for a few months. I’ve been focusing on finishing my degree, planning my wedding (yay!), moving, work, and a lot of health issues (which has been so hard and frustrating- a huge challenge in itself!). There has been so many moves, changes, lessons, ups and downs these past several months! It has definitely been one of the happiest times in my life, but also the most difficult and challenging. Despite all of my busyness, I also have been going through a lot of spiritual growth, and learning very challenging lessons. This is one of the reasons why I have slowed down on the blog and social media to focus more on that. Most anyone reading this probably doesn’t care…but I still thought I’d share a bit with you and let you know what I’ve been learning, for it may be of encouragement to you too.

My blog has been a wonderful outlet for so many of my passions and interests over the past year. I’ve been blessed to work with some amazing people and companies. But what started out as a very naive and innocent outlet to share my passions, it turned into something that I’ve really had to work through. Through the blog, I started to look around to other bloggers, fashion sites, and models, comparing myself and trying to measure up to all of their successes. So sharing my inspirations, photography, and fashion all of a sudden was no longer good enough for me and didn’t satisfy this need to be the best, to reach “x” amount of followers or views, or getting in “this magazine”, or “that feature.” While looking up to inspirational people to help motivate you is such a great thing; I believe that it all has to be balanced and through it all, you should never loose sight of who you are and what you’re all about. This obsession with trying and trying to reach impossible goals, started to give me such a negative outlook on myself. I wasn’t happy with where I was at in life and always was striving to become “better.” Before this adventure, I didn’t have a lot of these insecurities and I’m not blaming the “blog” (poor thing ha) but for me it lead me to prioritize in a very unhealthy way. As a believer, the priority of spending time with my Lord fell very low and the focus on my appearance and success went to a very high priority.

During this time, my relationships to those closest to me really suffered! I became a little “too big for my britches” (as my dad would say :)) and focused on everything worldly, things that do not matter through God’s eyes. And the person who I want to be is someone that helps others, someone who encourages others to be confident in their own skin, and someone that is an example for other girls and women to love themselves for exactly who they are. And if this is what I truly wanted, then I don’t think I was doing a very good job, because if I honestly accessed it, I wanted to use the blog for my own selfish ambitions and glorification (which was never ever my intention). I didn’t want me (or the content that I posted) to ever give women ammo to say, “oh, she is doing this, I now need to do that,” or “oh, she looks thinner than me, I need to loose more weight.” I never want my posts to make someone else internally compare and become negative or sad about themselves. I see so many other women around me struggle with this same issue, and some women that, sadly, never learn this lesson and fall prey to their own captivity and lies that they tell themselves. Lies telling them that they are not “good” enough.

After a lot of prayers, wonderful counsel and encouragement, I realized that the Lord wanted me to fully surrender it to Him. To give up what I viewed as very important in my life, to what needed to be MOST important in my life. I finally realized that by giving my life fully to the Lord, and trusting in Him, that I did not need to worry about anything else. If it is His will for me not to blog, then I won’t do it anymore. If it is His will for me to try something completely new, I want to do that something that is completely new. I know that with whatever I do, or wherever I’m at in life, I will grasp onto the Lord for my strength and security.

If nothing that I described resonates with you, then I am in awe of your strength and security! For those of you who can understand the feeling of never adding up to either yourself or someone else, I simply urge you to believe in yourself—to be confident in WHO YOU ARE and try not to transform into someone else. Don’t let the world’s standards make you conform, do not let that “one person” who you compare yourself to, make you feel so inferior that you feel negative about yourself. Find your worth in the things that are unseen, the things that cannot be taken from you, like kindness, humbleness, determination, compassion, and thankfulness. God made each one of us specifically the way He intended; for we are beautifully and wonderfully made in His image. The best you can ever be is yourself and when you are that, you will be the most beautiful and captivating woman imaginable.


Monday, May 5, 2014

All Things Floral

So I've been MIA the last month, I apologize! My life has been so crazy, but crazy in a good way! I'm finishing up my BFA in photography (I finish in a week YAY), searching for apartments (moving back to California very soon!), transitioning jobs, squeezing in senior photo shoot sessions, and planning my wedding!! It's a wonderful time and I'm so very blessed from everything that the Lord is doing in my life. I hope everyone is doing well too :) I'd love to hear about anything you'd like to share! Speaking of sharing, I had to share these images of floral arrangements! I'm in the process of finding a florist and there are so many beautiful arrangements and styles of bouquets. I died. You will too. Take a peak :) My pinterest has more to see too! Have a wonderful night lovelies!